Tournament progress[]
Group stage[]
Group A[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | PSG | ARS | LUD | BAS |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Arsenal Fan TV FC | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 11 | 5 | +6 | 14 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 1–1 | 2-2 | 3–0 |
2 | Paris Saint-Qatar | 6 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 14 | 5 | +9 | 12 | 2–2 | — | 6–0 | 2–0 | |
3 | Brazilgorets Razgrad | 6 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 13 | −9 | 3 | Transfer to Europa League | 1–3 | 2–3 | — | 0–0 |
4 | FC Basil Fawlity | 6 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 8 | −6 | 2 | 1–2 | 1-4 | 1–1 | — |
Source: UEFA
(A); Advance to a further round; (E); Eliminated; (Q); Qualified to phase indicated.
Group B[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | NAP | BEN | BES | DK | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Nippli | 6 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 11 | 8 | +3 | 11 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 4–2 | 2–3 | 0–0 | |
2 | Ben10fica | 6 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 8 | 1–2 | — | 1–1 | 1–0 | ||
3 | Besiktas J.K. | 6 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 9 | 14 | −5 | 7 | Transfer to Europa League | 1–1 | 3–3 | — | 1–1 | |
4 | Dynamo Knob | 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 8 | 6 | +2 | 5 | 1–2 | 0–2 | 6–0 | — |
[]
Group C[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | BAR | MC | MGL | CEL |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Barcelever | 6 | 5 | 0 | 1 | 16 | 4 | +12 | 15 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 4-0 | 4-0 | 7–0 |
2 | Manchester Sheikhy | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 11 | 9 | +2 | 9 | 3–1 | - | 4–0 | 1-1 | |
3 | Borussia Monchengladcack | 6 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 8 | −3 | 5 | Transfer to Europa League | 1–2 | 1–1 | — | 1–1 |
4 | Celtic 118-118 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 15 | −11 | 3 | 0–2 | 3–3 | 0–2 | — |
Source: UEFA
(A) Advance to a further round; (E) Eliminated; (Q) Qualified to the phase indicated.
Group D[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | ATL | BMU | ROS | PSV |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid | 6 | 5 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 1 | +6 | 15 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 1-0 | 2–1 | 2–0 |
2 | FC Buyern Monstermunchen | 6 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 13 | 6 | +7 | 12 |
1-0[] |
— | 5–0 | 4–1 | |
3 | FFS Rostov | 6 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 6 | 12 | −6 | 4 | Transfer to Europa League | 0–1 | 3–2 | — | 2–2 |
4 | PSIV (For The Players) | 6 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 11 | −7 | 2 | 0–1 | 1–2 | 0-0 | — |
Source: UEFA
(A) Advance to a further round; (E) Eliminated; (Q); qualified to phase indicated.
Group E[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | MON | BL | TOT | CSK |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | AS Moneyco | 5 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 9 | 4 | +5 | 11 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 1–1 | 2–1 | 3–0 |
2 | Better than Bayer(n) Leverkusen | 5 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 4 | +1 | 10 | 7 Dec | — | 0–0 | 2–2 | |
3 | Tottenham Hotseat | 5 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 5 | −2 | 7 | Transfer to Europa League | 1–2 | 0–1 | — | 7 Dec |
4 | CSKA Moscow | 5 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 8 | −4 | 3 | 1–1 | 1–1 | 0–1 | — |
Source: UEFA
(A) Advance to a further round; (E) Eliminated; (Q) Qualified to phase indicated.
Group F[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | DOR | RM | SCP | LEG |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | DVD | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 19 | 7 | +12 | 14 | Advance to knockout phase | - | 2-2 | 1-0 | 8-4 |
2 | Real Madrith | 6 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 14 | 8 | +6 | 12 | 2-2 | - | 2-1 | 5-1 | |
3 | Legia Warsore | 6 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 7 | −2 | 4 | Transfer to Europa League | 0-6 | 3-3 | 1-0 | - |
4 | Sporting | 6 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 8 | 24 | −16 | 3 | 1-2 | 1-2 | - | 2-0 |
Source: UEFA
(A) Advance to a further round; (Q) Qualified to phase indicated; (E) Eliminated.
Group G[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | LC | POR | COP | CLU |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Leicester The Foxes | 6 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 1 | +6 | 13 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 1–0 | 1–0 | 2–1 |
2 | FC Porthole | 6 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 3 | +1 | 11 |
5-0[] |
— | 1–1 | 1–0 | |
3 | F.C. Cohaagen | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 5 | 2 | +3 | 9 | Transfer to Europa League | 0–0 | 0–0 | — | 4–0 |
4 | Club Bugger | 6 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 12 | −10 | 0 | 0–3 | 1–2 | 7 Dec | — |
Source: UEFA
(A) Advance to a further round; (E) Eliminated; (Q) Qualified to phase indicated
Group H[]
Pos | Team | Pld | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts | Qualification | JUV | SEV | OL | DZ |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Old lady | 6 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 2 | +7 | 14 | Advance to knockout phase | — | 0–0 | 1–1 | 2-0 |
2 | Seevilla | 6 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 3 | +4 | 11 | 1–3 | — | 1–0 | 4–0 | |
3 | Pique Lyonnais | 6 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 3 | +2 | 8 | Transfer to Europa League | 0–1 | 7 Dec | — | 3–0 |
4 | Nineamo Zagreb | 6 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 13 | −13 | 0 | 0–4 | 0–1 | 0–1 | — |
Knockout stage[]
Team 1 | Agg. | Team 2 | 1st leg | 2nd leg |
---|---|---|---|---|
Manchester Sheikhy | 6–6 (a) | AS Moneyco | 5–3 | 1–3 |
Real Madrith | 6–2 | Nippli|3–1 | 3–1 | |
Ben10fica | 1–4 | DVD | 1–0 | 0–4 |
FC Buyern Monstermunchen | 10–2 | Arsenal Fan TV FC | 5–1 | 5–1 |
FC Porthole | 0–3 | Old lady | 0–2 | 0–1 |
Better than Bayer(n) Leverkusen | 2–4 | Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid | 2–4 | 0–0 |
Paris Saint-Qatar | 5–6 | Barcelever | 4–0 | 1–6 |
Seevilla | 2–3 | Leicester The Foxes | 2–1 | 0–2 |
Quarter-finals[]
The draw for the quarter-finals will be held on 17 March 2017. The first legs will be played on 11 and 12 April, and the second legs will be played on 18 and 19 April 2017.
Team 1 | Agg. | Team 2 | 1st leg | 2nd leg |
---|---|---|---|---|
Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid | 2–1 | Leicester The Foxes | 1–0 | 1–1 |
DVD | 3–6 | AS Moneyco | 2–3 | 1–3 |
FC Buyern Monstermunchen | 3–6 | Real Madrith | 1–2 | 2–4 |
Old lady | 3–0 | Barcelever | 3–0 | 0–0 |
Semi-finals[]
The draw for the semi-finals will be held on 21 April 2017. The first legs will played on 2 and 3 May, and the second legs will be played on 9 and 10 May 2017.
Team 1 | Agg. | Team 2 | 1st leg | 2nd leg |
---|---|---|---|---|
Real Madrith | 4–2 | Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid | 3–0 | 1–2 |
AS Moneyco | 1–4 | Old lady | 0–2 | 1–2 |
Final[]
Main article: 2017 UEFA Champions League Final
The final will be played on 3 June 2017 at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. The "home" team (for administrative purposes) will be determined by an additional draw held after the semi-final draw.
3 June 2017
19:45 BST |
Old lady | 1–4 | Real Madrith |
---|---|---|
27' Wario Wandzukic | Cristiano Arrogantaldo 20' 64' | |
84' CUADRADO FIGHT (RED CARD) | Casemiro 61' | |
Marcos As-and-show 90' |
Millennium Stadium, Cardiff |
Players[]
Real Madrith[]
- Cristiano Arrogantaldo
- Garry Bale
- Mercedes Benzema
- Tiny Carvajal
- Hamish Rodriguez
- Sergio Redos
- Key-lord Navas
- Peperedcarde
- Rafael Caravan
- George-Lucas Vagquest
- Lucroat Modrić
- Toni Tom Kroos
- Tiny Carvajal
- Alvara Moratahahaha
- Isgo
- Nacho Fernandez
- Marcelo (1988)
- Casemiro
- Marcos 6thsensio
Old Lady[]
- Gigi Bouffant
- Judasardo Bosnakci
- Pileofjuan Cuadrado
- Gonzalo Hugeain
- Patrice Whatevra
- Dani Elvis
- Moise Kean
- Wario Wandzukic
- Ohilooksosilly Benatia
- Giorgio Chiellinguine
- Paulo Dyballer
- DJ Khaledira
- Ale Jandro
- Andrea Baldagli
- Claudio Marcboohissio
Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid[]
- Carrasco Sauce
- Felipe Luisaleftback
- Antoine 4G-Riezmann
- Jose Gimpenez
- Miguel Ángel Moyá
- Tiago Mendes
- SafeJands Oblak
- Koke-Cola
- Sowl Ñíguez
- Gabby Logan
- Fernando Torrid
- JuanFranMan
- Kevin Gamaero
- Lily Savage
- Lucas Hernandesoconnor
AS Moneyco[]
- Danijel Subwaysic
- Radamel Failcow
- Fabinho
- Kylian MMMboppé
- Tiémoué Bakayoko
- Monaco midfielders
- Bastardo Silva
- Thomas Lemur
- Kamil Glock
DVD[]
- Marco Rolls-Reus
- Lukasz Piszczek
- Roman Weidenfeller
- Socrates Papastathopoulos
- Pierrrrre-Emerick Ibangyermam
- Marcel Schmelzer
- Emre Mor
- Andre Shirley
- Mario Goatze
Barcelever[]
- Lionel Messigician
- Chewy Suarez
- Notaxmar
- Andres Inhexcellent
- Ivan Raketits
- Javier Rascherano
- Gerard Piqkira
- Marc-Andre Ter Sleepen
- Salmonman Umtiti
- Jessica Alba
- Sergio Buckets
- Mr. Cillessen
- Sergi Roberto
- Arda the Turkey
FC Buyern Monstermunchen[]
- Thomasshole Muller
- Robert Lewanogoalski
- Joshua Kimmich
- Juan Bernat
- Franck Riberteeth
- RTAro Vidal
- Thebetterlooking Costa
- Mats Hamells
- Savewell Neuer
- Xabi Irunslow
- Jeronimo Boateng
- David Ali Baba
- Arjen Robin
- Philip Lamb
- Felix Goatze
- Thiago Alcantraitor
Leicester the Foxes[]
- Casper Schmeichel Jnr
- Danny Simpson
- Jamie's Come Fardy
- Robert Huth
- Really Bad Penalty Taker Mahrez
- Danny Drinkwater
- Captain Morgan
- Andy King
- Wilfred Ndidi
- Marc Albrighton
Nippli[]
Arsenal Fan TV FC[]
- Dimwit Ohspina
- Hector Bellerina
- Fresh Prince of Wel-Air
- Per Merthetractor
- Th2-0 Walcott
- Olivier GQ
- Alex EMObi
- Maurice Gibbs
- Mesut Eyezil Terrestrial
- Gabrielle
- Alex Oxeleonardo Chamberlain
- Petr the Czech
- Shkodran Mustafa Cacki
- Santa Cazorla
- Francis Cockerelman
- Welsh Rambo
- Granit Xhaka Khan
- Dirty Sanchez
- L'Oreal Koscielny
- Nacho Monreal
Paris Saint-Qatar[]
- Skeletor Cavani
- She-Rabiot
- Angel Devil Di Maria
- Thiowngoal Silva
- Kevin Trappjaw
- Alphonse Areola
- Marquinhos (1994)
- Marco Theratti
- Serge Oreo
- Bobby Draxler
- Kevin Trappjaw
- Thomas Moonier
- Layvin Kursedawa OMG
Ben10fica[]
FC Porthole[]
Seevilla[]
Better Than Bayer(n) Leverkusen[]
Manchester Sheikhy[]
- Johnny Bravo
- Long John David Silver
- Kev De Bluene
- İlkay Gün Doğ Gun
- Leroy Sarnie
- Nicolas Ottermandi
- John €50nes
- Sergio AGUEROOOOOO!
- Willy Cabaldero
- Rah££m Loves St£rling
- Pablo Zabtheletter
- Fernandoh
- Aleksandar Kolaroff
- Fernandinhold
- Kelechi Iheanacho
- Jesus of Navasreth
- Vinjury Kompany
- Yaya Tankoure
- Nolito
- Gael Cliche
- Gabriel Icanseejesus
- Bacary LeSagna
FFS Rostov[]
Tottenange Hotspur[]
- Hugoalkeeper Lloris
- Victor Ingonyama
- Erik Lame-ela
- Takeabow Son
- BelJan Vertonghen
- Eric Dierrhea
- Sony Eriksen
- England's Rose
- Adele Alli
- Hurri-Kane MBE
YMCA Moscow[]
Olympique Mayonnais[]
Managers[]
- Zinheadine Zidane (Real Madrith manager)
- Massalyssamilano Allegro (Old Lady manager)
- Diego Simemoane (Atlethemhavetheballico Madrid manager)
- Thomas Tuchel (DVD manager)
- Carlo Eyebrowcelotti (FC Buyern Monstermunchen manager)
- Luis Enrique (Barcelever manager)
- Claudiddlydingdiddlydong Ranieri (Leicester the Foxes manager)
- Craig Shakespeare (Leicester the Foxes manager)
- Pep, si? Guardiola (Manchester Sheikhy manager)
- One-eye Emeryboard (Paris Saint-Qatar manager)
- Jorge Sampaoli (Seevilla manager)
- Arsey Whinger (Arsenal Fan TV FC manager)
- Brendan the Elephant Seal (Celtic 118-118 manager)
- Mauricio Pochettino-Turner (Tottenham Hotseat manager)
Other Characters[]
- Kenny Dalglish (former Leavethepool player)
- Zlatan Egohimovic (Mountchester United player)
- David Louise (Chelsea Soccer Club player)
- Joe Hairt (Gran Torino player)
- The Old lady (Old Lady mascot)
- Beppe Marotta (Old Lady ] chief executive)
- Dean Stobbart
- reporter (voice)
- Filbert Fox (Leicester the Foxes mascot)
- Sheiky Mansour (Moneychester Sheikhy owner)
- Sole Campbell (former footballer)
- Jack Wheelchair (Jason Bournemouth player)
- Eden Hazardous (Chelsea Soccer Club player)
- Daniel Levil (Tottendan Hotspur owner)
- Alan Sucre (former Tottendan Hotspur owner)
- Arry Redknee (Jordan national team manager)
- Dim Tim Sherwhat (former Tottendan Hotspur manager)
- Adele (voice) (singer)
- Divhead Moyes (Sunlessland AFC manager)
- Roy Meane (Pub of Ireland assistant)
- Darth Vader (fictional character)
- Not So Super Mario Balotelli (OMG Nice player)
- Goalpost
- Diego Maradona (former Nippli player)
- Ben Tennyson (Ben10fica mascot)
- Herbert M Ask (Therapist)
- Noel Gallagher (singer)
- Liam Gallagher (singer)
- Deniz Aytekin (referee)
- Donald Trump (United States president)
- David Dao (Doctor)
- doctor
- Joey Beton (Brrrnley FC player)
- Dante (OMG Nice player)
- Moth