United Pistates is based off the United States national team.
Appearance[]
Flag[]
The United Pistates flag contains a rifle, referencing the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution as well as American pro-gun stereotypes.
Name[]
Their parody name is a portmanteau of "United States" and "pistol", referencing the reason above.
History[]
American flags were seen in 🇺🇸GERRARD SIGNS FOR LA GALAXY🇺🇸 (MLS footy cartoon by 442oons US NATIONAL ANTHEM PARODY) and Footballer 1 - RACE 7! (Tottenham vs Man City 2-0, Koscielny handball and more), the latter referencing It's a Swan, See? FC's American owners. In addition, the several of the country's presidents have appeared, such as Barack Obama and Donald Trump.
Men's team[]
Although the United Pistates qualified for the 2014 FIFA World Cup, the team did not make an appearance at all. In particular, this team is always underrepresented in 442oons. The team first appeared in Top 10 Facts About Christian Pulisic - Powered By 442oons.
Despite not qualifying for the FIFARCE World Cup 2018 Rusputin following a 1:2 loss against Trinidad and Tobago, they still managed to qualify the FIFA 22 World CorrUPt. The states hosted the Cuppa America Centenario and Cuppa America United States 2024 in addition.
Women's team[]
A ball celebrating the women's team victory of the 2019 Women's World Cup appeared in 🍾Celebrity Bottle Cap Challenge!🍾 (Feat Keanu Reeves, Trump, Bieber, Capaldi and more!). The women's team's flag first appeared in ARSENAL vs MAN CITY: Penalty Shoot-Out (Community Shield Goals Highlights 2023 De Bruyne Rodri), on Megan Rapinoe's shirt.
Squad[]
| No. | Pos. | Player | Caps | Goals | Club |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | GK | Matt Turner | 35 | 0 | Aforest |
| 18 | GK | Ethan Horvath | 9 | 0 | Aforest |
| 2 | DF | Sergiño Dest | 30 | 2 | PSIV |
| 3 | DF | Cameron Carter-Vickers | 14 | 0 | Celtic 118-118 |
| 4 | DF | Chris Richards | 14 | 1 | Cwystal Palace |
| 5 | DF | DeJuan Jones | 7 | 0 | New England Revolution |
| 12 | DF | Miles Robinson | 28 | 3 | Atlanta United |
| 13 | DF | Tim Ream | 53 | 1 | Fulham |
| 19 | DF | Joe Scally | 7 | 0 | Borussia Monchengladcack |
| 23 | DF | Kristoffer Lund | 3 | 0 | Palermo |
| 6 | MF | Yunus Musah | 31 | 0 | AC Zlatan |
| 7 | MF | Claudio Reyna Jr | 22 | 6 | DVD |
| 8 | MF | WickedWitchOfTheWeston McKennie | 48 | 11 | Old Lady |
| 14 | MF | Luca de la Torre | 19 | 0 | Celta Vigo |
| 15 | MF | Johnny Cardoso | 9 | 0 | Ooh Bettys |
| 22 | MF | Lennard Maloney | 1 | 0 | Beanz Mainz Heinz |
| 9 | FW | Ricardo Pepi | 20 | 9 | PSIV |
| 10 | FW | Christian Pullasicky (captain) | 64 | 28 | AC Zlatan |
| 11 | FW | Brenden Aaronson | 36 | 8 | Onion Berlin |
| 16 | FW | Kevin Paredes | 2 | 0 | Wolvesburger |
| 17 | FW | Alejandro Zendejas | 7 | 1 | America |
| 20 | FW | Folarin Balogun | 6 | 3 | Moneyco |
| 21 | FW | Timothy Weah | 35 | 5 | Old Lady |
Recent Call-ups[]
| Template:Abbr | Player | Caps | Goals | Club | Latest call-up |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| GK | Drake Callender | 0 | 0 | Inter Messi | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| GK | Sean Johnson | 13 | 0 | Toronto FC | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| GK | Gabriel Slonina | 1 | 0 | Eupen | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| GK | Josh Cohen | 0 | 0 | Unattached | 2023 CONCACAF Nations League Finals PRE |
| GK | Roman Celentano | 0 | 0 | FC Cincinnati | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| GK | Zack Steffen | 29 | 0 | Moneychester Sheikhy | v. El Salvador; April 19, 2023 |
| DF | Antonee Robinson | 37 | 2 | Fulham City | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| DF | Mark McKenzie | 13 | 0 | Genk | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| DF | DeAndre Yedlin | 81 | 0 | Inter Messi | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | Aaron Long | 35 | 3 | La La Land FC | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | Matt Miazga | 28 | 1 | FC Cincinnati | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | Bryan Reynolds | 7 | 1 | Westerlo | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | Jalen Neal | 6 | 0 | LA Galax-Z | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | John Tolkin | 3 | 0 | New York RB | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| DF | Walker Zimmerman | 42 | 3 | Nashville SC | 2023 CONCACAF Nations League Finals |
| DF | Auston Trusty | 2 | 0 | Sean Bean United | 2023 CONCACAF Nations League Finals |
| DF | Shaq Moore | 17 | 1 | Nashville SC | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| DF | Caleb Wiley | 1 | 0 | Atlanta United | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| DF | Joshua Wynder | 0 | 0 | Ben10fica B | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| DF | Jonathan Gómez | 2 | 0 | Mirandés | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| DF | Sam Rogers | 1 | 0 | Lillestrøm | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| MF | Malik Tillman | 6 | 0 | PSIV | v. Template:Fb; October 14, 2023INJ |
| MF | Tanner Tessmann | 2 | 0 | Venezia | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| MF | Benjamin Cremaschi | 1 | 0 | Inter Messi | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| MF | Cristian Roldan | 37 | 0 | Seattle Sounders | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | Jackson Yueill | 16 | 0 | San Jose Earthquakes | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | Gianluca Busio | 13 | 1 | Venezia | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | James Sands | 13 | 0 | New Manchester City FC UAE | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | Djordje Mihailovic | 11 | 3 | AZ Alkmaar | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | Aidan Morris | 4 | 0 | Columbus Crew | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| MF | Alan Soñora | 5 | 0 | Unattached | 2023 CONCACAF Gold CupINJ |
| MF | Kellyn Acosta | 58 | 2 | La La Land FC | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| MF | Paxton Pomykal | 3 | 0 | FC Dallas | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 |
| MF | Eryk Williamson | 6 | 0 | Portland Timbers | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| MF | Paxten Aaronson | 1 | 0 | Eintracht Frankfart | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| MF | Tyler Adams | 36 | 1 | Jason Bournemouth | 2022 FIFA World Cup |
| FW | Cade Cowell | 8 | 1 | San Jose Earthquakes | v. Oman; September 12, 2023 |
| FW | Jordan Morris | 55 | 11 | Seattle Sounders | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| FW | Jesús Ferreira | 23 | 15 | FC Dallas | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| FW | Brandon Vázquez | 8 | 4 | FC Cincinnati | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| FW | Julian Gressel | 6 | 0 | Columbus Crew | 2023 CONCACAF Gold Cup |
| FW | Taylor Booth | 2 | 0 | Utrecht | 2023 CONCACAF Nations League Finals |
| FW | Paul Arriola | 50 | 10 | FC Dallas | v. Mexico; April 19, 2023 PRE |
| FW | Daryl Dike | 10 | 3 | West Bromwich Albion | v. El Salvador; April 19, 2023 |
| FW | Matthew Hoppe | 8 | 1 | San Jose Earthquakes | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| FW | Emmanuel Sabbi | 1 | 0 | Le Havre | v. Template:Fb; January 28, 2023 |
| FW | Josh Sargent | 23 | 5 | Notrich City | 2022 FIFA World Cup |
| FW | Haji Wright | 7 | 2 | Coventry City | 2022 FIFA World Cup |
- PRE = Preliminary squad
Managers[]
Trivia[]
Gallery[]
